Thursday, November 22, 2007

Thursday Thirteen

In honor of Huck/Chuck'08 (see here) I give you...

13 Facts About Chuck Norris!

  1. On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down “Violence” as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with violence.
  2. If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on a google search it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Chuck Norris?” It simply replies, “Run while you still have a chance!”
  3. When monsters go to sleep at night they check their closets for Chuck Norris.
  4. Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
  5. Chuck Norris’ dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris doesn’t take crap from anyone.
  6. Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris’ pc will crash.
  7. Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than God can process them.
  8. Chuck Norris once had a heart attack…his heart lost.
  9. When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror it shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
  10. Chuck Norris can create a rock so heavy that even he can’t lift it…then he lifts it anyway just to show you he’s Chuck Norris.
  11. Chuck Norris doesn’t play hide-and-seek…he plays hide-and-pray-I-don’t-find-you.
  12. Chuck Norris is suing NBC claiming that “Law” and “Order” are the trademarked names for his left and right legs.
  13. Bullets don’t kill people…Chuck Norris does.

Thanks Be to God for Chuck Norris!

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At 12:57 AM, Anonymous Nicholas said...

I don't think I've ever heard of this guy, but you sure seem to like him!

At 2:20 AM, Blogger SoonerScotty said...

OMG! You've never heard of Chuck Norris?

He starred in the 90s show "Walker: Texas Ranger." He was in several of those Rambo-esque Vietnam/MIA movies back in the late 80s.

He's a martial arts action star (B level) and he kind of has a cult's more funny than serious.

At 8:00 AM, Blogger DrillerAA said...

Great list.
I noticed you were too afaid of Chuck Norris to note that he's as bald as a cue ball and has been forever.
Happy Thanksgiving

At 12:01 PM, Blogger Holly said...

Chuckie! I used to have a huge crush on Chuck Norris...

Happy TT-13 and Happy Thanksgiving!



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